Chick Carroll- 5/24/19

We at The Gathering Place wish that every day things would run smoothly. Of course, it doesn’t work that way. Like all communities who see as many 100 people a day, as we do, there can be wonderful and supremely satisfying and heartwarming interactions — a new job, an apartment for someone who has been homeless, times of great satisfaction and triumph. By contrast, there can be times of sickness, broken relationships, personal friction, a job lost, and even the death of a guest or a volunteer, or a member of their family.

During the last year or so, there has been much in the newspaper about the need for zoning in Brunswick to regulate the location of sheltered housing for the homeless. And to establish rules of operation. Most of the news and the discussion was about problems and policy; these must be discussed in such a forum, of course, but unfortunately there was very little about the human reality of those who need the help. The human aspect of the issue seemed to have been forgotten. The conversation seemed at times to attribute bad behavior to “those people,” as if they are somehow different than the rest of us, as if they needed to be “warehoused,” but in limited numbers.

And, of course, the discussion was often about limiting the number of homeless that could be sheltered. Such restrictions limit only those homeless to be sheltered, in facilities where there are rules and norms of behavior expected and enforced. There seemed to be little understanding that those who are housed protectively, in shelters, are not the problem that some people fear. Rather, it is those who are not able to be housed due to a lack of shelter beds, those who must remain homeless, who do not receive the humane care available in a shelter, who are not subject to enforceable rules and standards, rules that improve the lives of all of us.

At The Gathering Place, among the many members of the community who visit, we notice that those who are poor and or homeless in fact have very similar lives to all the rest in our community, lives of satisfaction and joy, and lives of trouble, illness and loss. Like everyone else, their lives are a mix.

For example, at The Gathering Place, we held a wedding, and our volunteers have been able to join in joyful celebration of new births. By contrast, all of us have mourned with our friends there who have suffered from serious and sometimes fatal illnesses. We have held several memorial services for deceased friends. We have all grieved for those who have died- – from cancer and heart conditions, from suicide, from drug overdose, and from other causes that affect all of us in the general population.

What is so remarkable is how our guests manage to accept the disappointments and trials of life, and to rejoice at the “good parts.” Their resilience is a shining example. Most of our guests are, unfortunately, accustomed to disappointments. Life is far from easy for people who suffer from being poor, without work, or unable to live comfortable lives due to illness or chronic and disabling health problems. But their ability to bear such burdens is remarkable and an inspiration.

Some of us with greater material advantages imagine that we can take the credit for our good fortune, that the luck of our circumstances played little part in our success, and that we are fully entitled to what we have. By contrast, that sense of entitlement is absent in most of our guests. They have come to be realistic about what faces them and will face them in our world. And they seem to recognize that any sense of entitlement is unrealistic. We volunteers learn a lot and are often inspired in seeing our guests handle crisis or trouble in mature, realistic, and accepting ways.

Not that long ago, The Gathering Place community was rocked by the untimely death of a guest. Most of us knew him and have known some members of his family for several years. There is a close community that has developed among many of our guests and volunteers. The death was sudden and unexpected. Naturally, the family was and is devastated by their loss. And many members of the community were profoundly moved by the plight of the bereaved family as they faced the new reality which sudden death of a loved one presents.

The loss caused the same reactions one would expect in any community. The loving reaction and support of so many members of the community was exactly what one would expect in a healthy and loving community. The Gathering Place is such a community. Healthy, compassionate, and loving.

Chick Carroll is the former president of The Gathering Place, one of its founders and volunteer, in addition to being a retired Episcopal deacon.